Running
Truths

Your running shoes cost more than your rent deposit.

Mile 1 feels like dying. Mile 2 feels worse. Mile 3 feels like a personality.

You've convinced yourself that 5:47am is "early, but not that early."

The hardest part of any run is telling no one about it. You tell everyone.

You signed up for a race you cannot pronounce and cannot explain to your family.

Race day adrenaline is just caffeine you paid a $200 entry fee to experience.

"Taper week" is just anxiety with a training plan excuse.

You own more running socks than regular socks. This is not a crisis.

You have evaluated every meal this week by its carb-to-effort ratio.

The post-run shower is the only shower that counts.

You are not a morning person. You are a person who runs in the morning despite themselves.

GPS watch battery anxiety is its own form of training stress.

Somewhere in your house there is a medal that means nothing to anyone but you — and a little bit to you.

You have described a run as "easy" that would hospitalize most people.

The foam roller is proof that recovery hurts more than the thing you're recovering from.

You spent $340 on shoes, $80 on socks, and used a free race bib as a bookmark.

You have eaten a gel and said "not that bad" when it was absolutely that bad.

"I'll just run a quick 5k" is the adult equivalent of "I'll be out in 5 minutes."